​​Don't try to change those who don't want to change.

The inner world of each of us is built on our experiences, which cannot but be unique. And this is often the reason for misperceiving someone else's worldview. It seems to us that what is normal for us is also normal for others. Therefore, when we care about a person, we try to help him or her, to direct him or her to a path that seems good to us. But this does not guarantee that the person will be better on this path.

There is no need to change those who are not ready to change. And it is important to realize that many people who complain about their current way of life don't need to change at all. They just want something new. For example, a person may work at a job that is a burden to him. He will complain every weekend about how bored he is with it, but he won't spend a single hour getting close to the possibility of leaving the place.

And he can sincerely say that he wants to do something of his own, but is forced to work because he has to somehow survive, pay the rent, etc. But to be honest, there are no such lingering periods in which it is impossible to find a few hours a week for something that can improve the quality of life. You can always adjust to the situation and come up with something. At any rate, it's better than just whining.

And this is where you can get into trouble - you'll try to help and end up on the outside. People who are not prepared to take decisive action are not prepared for the responsibility that comes with change. Consequently, if you make a mistake, it's your fault because you screwed up. And if you don't make a mistake and bring him to results, you're still to blame, because he doesn't know what to do next. You put him in a new situation, you're gonna have to deal with it.

Therefore, no matter how cynical and selfish it may sound, but the drowning man's salvation is the drowning man's business. There is no need to do the work for those who do not want to work. Such people, at a minimum, slow you down, at a maximum, drag you down. At the same time, it is not necessary to break the relationship with them. The main thing is not to try to change them through force. Otherwise, you will remain the enemy. It is better to look for like-minded people and exchange value with them.

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With respect, Your friend. Christopher.