Irina Lutsenko: IELTS, writing, cohesion

✈️ IELTS Writing Task 1: synonyms for "departures area" ✈️

Most words in Writing Task 1 don't really have synonyms. And they shouldn't because they denote very specific things.

Today, we were discussing the redevelopment plans for Southwest Airport (IELTS 16 Test 3). So you have "departures area." What else can you possible say? "Departures hall" and "Departures zone" - that's it.

Well, there is also "departure lounge," but it's different because it means "a seating area in an airport where passengers wait immediately prior to boarding" (so not the whole departures area of the airport).

But the more important question is why do you even need many synonyms in Writing Task 1?

You shouldn't need many. Avoiding repetitions should be achieved through words like "it" or "one" or "this part of the airport."

OK, here is a challenge for you. This week my students are writing a task that goes: "The plans below show two different layouts for the same training room." How would you avoid repeating "layout" and "training room"?

🦋 IELTS Writing: paraphrasing the topic 🦋

It's a nice, sunny Saturday afternoon... and what is Irina doing? Checking IELTS essays, of course. Today I want to share one thing I noticed in my student's introductions.

📝 Topic: "Advertising can change people's priorities and have a negative impact on their lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

📝 Student's essay: "It is sometimes argued that advertising can alter people’s values and have a negative influence on their lives."

OK, technically, the student paraphrased the topic. But the paraphrase is very close to the original despite the fact that it contains different lexical items.

📝 My paraphrase: "There is an opinion that people can be affected by advertising to such an extent that the quality of their lives deteriorates significantly."

Let's try to zero in on what exactly makes my paraphrase different from the original? Well, lexical items for sure, but also the sentence structure.

One thing that allowed me to use a new sentence structure is using different subjects. For example, in the topic we had "advertising can change people's priorities" - then why don't we make "people" or "priorities" the subject of the sentence? Or, "have a negative impact on their lives" - why don't we make "lives" the subject?

Use this simple technique: try changing the subject of the sentence. Chances are the whole structure will be changed.

📝 And now, try to implement this simple technique and paraphrase this essay topic: "Some people think that rising prices on the fuel for cars and other vehicles can solve different environmental problems."

📅 IELTS Writing: Wednesday 14:00-15:30 MSK

One student with a proven IELTS Writing 7.5 is waiting for a group. Will you join her on the journey to IELTS Writing 8?

This is a question I asked in my VK community. And several people wanted to joined because the schedule worked. And because they have a C2 after all. And I didn't admit them.

This group is not about the level. This groups is about the needs. People who have never written any IELTS tasks simply have different needs from those who have already written a plethora thereof.

If you have already completed an IELTS writing course and/or are familiar with all the tasks, message me @iraluts.

If you are an IELTS newbie, wait for a full course in the new academic year or join one of these groups that started recently:

1️⃣ Thursday 16:00-17:30 MSK, 7.5+
Started one month ago. Starting "agree/disagree" essays this week.

2️⃣ Wednesday 16:00-17:30 MSK, 7.5+
Started two months ago. Starting the "pie charts, bar charts, table" module this week.

💌 @iraluts

📝 Coherence or me being meticulous with meanings in my "Writing with New Scientist" class 📝

To practice a certain grammar structure, I take a sentence from the article and create a sentence frame.

For example, here is a sentence I chose today: "By the early 2010s, primatologists had started to take a keen interest in the findings, with some devising a battery of tests to explore chimpanzee intelligence."

And here is a sentence frame I asked my students to complete to practice the structure in bold: "Writing is a mysterious and much-feared skill, with most people ... ing ... ."

Now look at three examples and identify one that does not work.

1️⃣ Writing is a mysterious and much-feared skill, with most people thinking it can only be mastered by higher beings…

2️⃣ Writing is a mysterious and much-feared skill, with most people spending hours and hours to master it.

3️⃣ Writing is a mysterious and much-feared skill, with most people postponing to get to grips with it.

The sentence that doesn't work is the second one. There is no logical connection, and thus no coherence, between "a mysterious and much-feared skill" and "spending hours and hours to master it." A more logical sentence would be: "Writing is a difficult skill, with most people spending hours and hours to master it."

And that's the way I treat writing. Writing is not about grammar or cohesion alone, in isolation. First and foremost, it's about meaning.

How would you finish, "Writing is a mysterious and much-feared skill, with most people ...ing ... "? Share in the comments. 📝

⚡️ TOEFL is changing! ⚡️

Starting July 26, 2023, TOEFL iBT® test takers will see several new enhancements. Here is a brief summary:
- streamlined instructions and navigation
- a shortened Reading section with only two reading passages and 10 questions each
- a more concise and modern Writing task which replaces the current Independent Writing task
- removal of all unscored test questions

The test will now take just under 2 hours to complete. This makes it the shortest of the three most popular English-language tests.

Click the link below to find out more.

https://www.ets.org/toefl/ibt-enhancements.html

🐝 Sarcasm in my C2 Proficiency Writing class 🐝

Is sarcasm an innate ability or a skill? I think it's the latter. And it's just one more tool for us to use in writing (if need be).

Today, I gave my students some techniques and asked them to write a sarcastic paragraph about an heirloom they inherited from a member of their family. What they produced is pure beauty.

1️⃣ Viktoria
"The best thing my mom passed down to me is my anxiety disorder. This definitely makes for a better heirloom than any rings or necklaces that other moms give to their daughters."

2️⃣ Olga
"Having an apartment of 40 m2, living there in a family of five and keeping an old gigantic sewing machine, one that nobody uses? That is so smart. Let’s hope one of my grandchildren will be a seamstress."

3️⃣ Darya
"People have always tried to pass down little items to be remembered by future generations. More often than not, these heirlooms are anxiety, eating disorders and a whole bouquet of insecurities (priceless things, aren’t they?) But on rare occasions you might end up with something of great value - an optimistic outlook."

4️⃣ Lena
"Who could have thought that eventually I'll end up with such an impressive heirloom. What was particularly impressive was its uselessness, and it left me with my mouth agape for what felt like an eternity. And here was I, posed with a dilemma - should I pass it down to the next generation, so they'll share my exact sentiment?"

See, sarcasm in writing is nothing but a bunch of techniques.

Disclaimer: While sarcasm is a valid writing tool as it can give your text a certain tone, use it sparingly and don't use it at all if it's not something you actually enjoy. While I can appreciate sarcasm in creative writing, I am one of those people who don't normally appreciate it in real life. 🐝

🦩 IELTS writing: clarity and development 🦩

We work on different things in my IELTS writing groups. One key focus is clarity - the clarity of why and how the ideas support the main point. It's not as simple as it sounds and it's something I have to fight for.

Look at the student's paragraph below.

🗒 Topic: "Because some children do not seem to have a natural ability to learn another language, schools should not force those children to study a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree?"

🗒 Student's original paragraph (opinion: disagree):

"Second, students without a talent for foreign languages can anyway benefit from learning them. Even basic knowledge may give them more opportunities in life such as being more confident while travelling abroad or getting better job positions in their future careers. Thus, instead of focusing only on gifted ones, schools should oblige all students to study languages."

In terms of clarity of ideas, the paragraph is excellent. That fight I have won. But we now face a different challenge - development. The paragraph is very short. So what could be add to further develop the main idea? 🦩

We could expand on "even basic knowledge." We could say that in order to benefit, students don’t need to acquire the C2 level. So even if they can only achieve level B1 (due to their lack of innate ability), they can still benefit when they travel or read some information online. Having no innate talent for languages does not mean a person is completely unable to acquire any language at all, right?

I like such paragraphs. If the ideas are clear, we can build on them. When a paragraph is a bunch of disconnected sentences, it's much harder to fix it.

So I suggested one possible extension. What else could we write to expand the student's paragraph above?❓

🐋 Taking a deep dive into cohesion in my "Writing with New Scientist" class 🐋

I don't normally bore my students with much theory. Instead, we look at examples and put patterns into practice.

So let's look at this example from the article we read: "If managed carefully, blue foods have a lot of room for sustainable growth."

You might think, "We'll what's so special here? What exactly are we looking at? It's a simple sentence."

OK. The first thing to look at is "If managed." This is a reduced form of "if they are managed." It's already beautiful, but the cherry on top is that the hidden "they" is a cataphoric reference to "blue foods." Now, isn't this the most beautiful thing you've seen today? 💙

Looking is not enough, though. We need to practice this beauty now. So finish one or both of the sentences below and type your answers in the comments:
1️⃣ If managed carefully, …
2️⃣ If done on a regular basis, …

🐋 And this is the kinds of things we do in my "Writing with New Scientist" classes. I have three groups. Join any time: https://vk.com/iralutse?w=product-47977221_5061302

📝 Items in a series: a common mistake 📝

Take a look at the sentence from a student's IELTS essay.

🗒 "While children need healthy food, books, toys, clothes, their parents might spend financial aid on expensive phones, electronics, cars."

It contains two examples of the same mistake - not separating the last item in a series. The last item in a series must be separated with "and" or "or."

🗒 "While children need healthy food, books, toys, and clothes, their parents might spend financial aid on expensive phones, electronics, or cars."

Now take a look at another sentence.

🗒 "Developed countries should provide non-financial help through organizing exchange programs for specialists, sharing technologies, establishing educational and health institutions."

The mistake is the same even though it might not look like one immediately - do not let the "and" confuse you. So what are the items that we have in a series? They are: organizing, sharing, establishing. So we must have "and" before establishing. And the "and" we have connects completely different items: "educational" and "health."

🗒 "Developed countries should provide non-financial help through organizing exchange programs for specialists, sharing technologies, and (or) establishing educational and health institutions."

What I am talking about now is standard academic writing. Curiously, in creative writing both underuse and overuse of conjunctions are valid stylistic devices. The former is called "asyndeton" and the latter is called "polysyndeton." Here are some examples:
- Asyndeton: "Children need playgrounds, toys, cartoons, ice-creams, sneakers."
- Polysyndeton: "Children need playgrounds and toys and cartoons and ice-creams and sneakers."

But asyndeton and polysyndeton belong in creative writing only. In essays, always separate the last item in a series with "and" or "or."

🔣 All because of a comma. An example of a good mistake with "which. 🔣

I like good mistakes. What's a good mistake? One that's subtle. One that helps us learn. One that gives me material for a post (jk).

I want to share an example of a good mistake.

So, we were doing the following in class: I gave my students the beginning of a sentence from my IELTS essay and asked them to finish it.

Look at the sentence. How would you finish it?

📄 "When young people invest time into shopping, it means they are not investing it into acquiring skills which ... "

📄 A student wrote:
"... which will prevent them from succeeding in their career path in the future."

This is a mistake. Clearly, the student meant "not investing time into acquiring skills will prevent young people from succeeding." But this is not possible. Why? All because of a comma. When we want to define the whole clause before "which," we need a comma.

For example,
- I didn't answer the question, which resulted in a low score. (Not answering resulted in a low, not the question.)
- I always highlight key words in essay topics, which helps me stay focused and nail Task Response. (Highlighting the key words helps, not the essay topics.)

Since we don't have a comma in my original sentence, we need to define skills.

📄 Here my original sentence: "When young people invest time into shopping, it means they are not investing it into acquiring skills which could later become their competitive advantage on the job market and other areas of life."

This concludes this portion of the "comma or no comma after which" grammar topic. Unfortunately, the comma does not always mean you are defining the whole clause before. A which clause with a comma can also define a noun. But this is a whole different story for another time. For today, the moral is "no comma necessarily means that you are defining a noun."

It was a good mistake, wasn't it?

📈 IELTS Writing Task 1: plummeting and skyrocketing 📉

For some reason, students like strong verbs like "soar," "skyrocket," or "plummet." The problem is they usually use them for insignificant changes. For example:

1. "It started at about 9 metric tonnes and then grew quickly to over 10 tonnes a decade later, plummeting to 7 tonnes in 1987."

Falling from 10 to 7 doesn't qualify as plummeting as the change is less than 50%.

2. "Starting at 35 quadrillion units, the figure is anticipated to skyrocket to almost 50 by 2030."

Again, rising from 35 to 50 is not really skyrocketing as the growth is not even twofold.

And then I get a sentence like this:

3. "The number of closures fluctuated between 6000 and 7000 shops in the first three years but showed an abrupt fall by 2015 to only 500. However, the figure then increased to slightly above 5000 stores ... "

Falling from 7,000 to 500 - that's plummeting! Rising from 500 to 5,000 - that's skyrocketing! This is a rare case when the verbs are actually begging to be used.

The bottom line is strong verbs like "skyrocket" or "plummet" express significant and rapid changes. So use the verbs wisely - to express what they really mean.

📝 Overuse of "and." Sequel II. 📝

I have already written a couple of posts about it, but I feel compelled to write one more (and will probably keep writing them on a regular basis because it's what I see on a regular basis).

Look at the sentence below. It has four "and"s! That's too many.

🗒 Student's original sentence:

"The former determines our talents and looks, which play a significant role in our ability to experience success, in that talents permit us to hone the necessary skills easier and faster and good looks endear us to others and thus can smooth our interactions with them."

🗒 My re-write:

"The former determines our talents and looks, which play a significant role in our ability to experience success, in that talents permit us to hone the necessary skills faster, while good looks endear us to others, thus smoothing our interactions with them."

The problem with excessive use of "and" is not just that the result is an awkward and/or lengthy sentence. It's that the sentence is hard to process because there are simply too many elements in it (not to mention the lack of meaningful connections between them).

🗒 Do you have an alternative rewrite of the student's sentence above? Share in the comments.

📈 IELTS Writing Task 1: what things can increase? 📉

Can chicken increase? Obviously, not. Yet, this is a mistake I see often. Bear with me. 

IELTS charts can have different nouns in them: meat, shops, energy production, people of different ages, you name it. 

Some of these things can increase, while others cannot. Meat cannot increase, but meat consumption or the amount of meat that is consumed can. Fuel can't increase, but fuel production or the amount of fuel that is produced can. People aged 15-65 can't increase, but population or the number of people can. See the logic?

But the mistake is usually more subtle than this.  More often than not, it looks like this: "Chicken was the most popular type of meat throughout the period. Starting at 100 grams, it increased dramatically to reach 250 by the end of the period."

See? The sentence doesn't directly say, "chicken increased." But if we track what "it" refers to, we get "chicken increased." 

For a higher score, you need to keep in mind a longer span of text than just one sentence. Do that. And make you write about things that can actually increase. 📈

I have four people waiting for an IELTS writing group, but they are all different levels. 😬

I start groups with as few as two people. Will you be the second person for one of the groups below?
- 6-6.5 (around 4 months)
- 6.5-7 (around 6 months)
- 7-7.5 (around 9-10 months)
- 7.5-8 (around 9-10 months)

You are also welcome to join our old groups. Find out more https://vk.com/market-47977221?w=product-47977221_3696544%2Fquery

💌 And message me @iraluts 💌

📈 The pesky "it" in IELTS writing task 1 📉

The thing about "it" is it has to refer to a noun. For example: "I checked an essay. It (= essay) was good." Using this tiny little word seems to be simple, yet it's a source of many mistakes. Here are some examples (and fixes).

1️⃣ "In Sweden the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."

We have no noun for "it" in the second sentence.

Fix 1: "In Sweden, the amount of emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, it dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."
Fix 2: "In Sweden, the emissions stood at roughly 9 tonnes at the beginning of the period. After rising to just over 10 tonnes in 1977, the amount dropped to around 5 tonnes in 2007."

2️⃣ "People ate as much as 210 grams of beef per week at the beginning of the period. After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, it rose to nearly 240 grams. It was followed by a sharp decline to about 100 grams per person per week in 2004."

We have two "it" here.

[1] Again, there is no noun for this "it."

Fix 1: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the amount of consumed beef rose to nearly 240 grams."
Fix 2: "After decreasing sharply to about 170 grams in 1980, the consumption rose to nearly 240 grams."

[2] Same problem - no noun. But the root of the problem might be different. The writer must have confused "it" and "this." If we want to refer to the whole clause, "it rose to nearly 240 grams," we need "this."

Fix 1: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. This was followed by a sharp decline..."
Fix 2: "... it rose to nearly 240 grams. The rise was followed by a sharp decline..."

To sum up, make sure your "it" refers to a specific noun in the previous sentence.

🤖 How to avoid repeating the word "people" in writing 🤖

I'll say right off the bat - it's not by using "one." The word "people" doesn't really have synonyms - well, good ones, at least. "Humans" or "human beings" are people, of course, but these words have very specific meanings. In essays, you often need the general meaning of "people."

I said in my previous post that I am always on the lookout. Join me. Take a look at this short piece from my Proficiency class and find different ways to avoid repeating "people."

📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in others, even when they’ve just met."

📝 "The third pillar, warmth, is a little harder to fake. This one requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance. It’s the sort of feeling you might get from [1] a close relative or a dear friend. It’s tricky, considering [2] those who excel here are people who invoke this feeling in [3] others, even when they’ve just met."

1️⃣ Instead of saying just people, use a specific category of people: students, children, entrepreneurs etc.

2️⃣ Say "those who (perform a certain action)."

3️⃣ "Others" means "other people," but the word "people" is omitted. Some similar examples: some, many (some claim that, this fact is ignored by many).

4️⃣ Of course, there is always "they," but that's just too obvious.

❗️We see "you" in this piece, but don't use it in academic articles.

And, of course, I couldn't help inviting my students to practice one of the ways above by using this sentence frame: "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … ." And here is what they came up with:

1. Good news: writing is a beast that can be tamed, and those who write regularly are living proof of that.
2. Teachers are on a constant lookout for new phrases, but those who write regularly have an advantage as they display the gems they previously found.
3. It takes discipline to integrate writing into your daily routine; however, those who write regularly eventually reap all the benefits of their diligent exercising.
4. Most people underestimate the benefits of writing as a skill, but those who write regularly, subconsciously enhance their speaking skills as well.

Pure beauty. Feel free to write your example for "… and (/but/so) those who write regularly … " in the comments. 📝

📝 A glimpse of my writing class: a high-level structure - effortlessly 📝

I don't teach grammar as such in my writing classes, but there is one thing I often do to help my students introduce more complex structures into their writing. I want to show you a glimpse of what we did today in my C2 Proficiency writing class.

Whenever we are reading something, be it an article or my essay, I am always on the lookout for structures and patterns. Here is what we were reading today: "If language is like a game of charades, then that has real-life implications. Words, phrases and sentences are only the tip of the communication iceberg. They give clues to meaning, but below the surface lies a whole range of other things that are necessary for us to interpret what is said."

So what do I see in this fairly simple piece of writing? It's "but below the surface lies a whole range of other things" - inverted word order (without any inversion!). The verb "lies" goes before the subject "range." This is a low-frequency structure that will definitely give my students' writing some "substance."

I don't bother going into long-winded theoretical explanations here. Instead, I give my students a sentence frame and ask to finish it: "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of ..."

And look at the results I got today. Are they a thing of pure beauty? 💜

1️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of cohesive devices that have to be used appropriately."

2️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of devices that are yet to be studied."

3️⃣ "Essay writing seems fairly straightforward, but below the surface lies a whole range of subskills that have to be mastered."

This is one sentence frame I gave my students. I typically give two or three. Here is the second one: "... but below the surface lies a whole range of problems that ... ." Feel free to write a sentence in the comments. 📝

At the end of the class, I gave my students a challenge: Use "but below the surface lies a whole range of" in your next essay.

And this is how we add a high-level structure into our writing effortlessly. No long-winded explanations required. 💜

📉 A bunch of IELTS Writing Task 1 (line graph) mistakes 📈

I have just checked the first line graph descriptions in my new IELTS writing group. 🥳

I love seeing people at the beginning of their IELTS writing journey because I know how much they will improve.

Here are some mistakes they made that many others make too (and my fixes).

1️⃣ "Pipeline usage to transport goods was constantly rising from 1974 to 1995, climbing to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes of goods."

The mistake is not giving the initial figure and not saying when it reached 22 million tonnes. We need the initial figure because without it we can't understand the growth.

Fix: "Pipeline usage to transport goods started at 5 million tonnes and, after rising steadily until 1995, climbed to its highest point of approximately 22m tonnes by the end of the period."

2️⃣ "The figure showed an upward trend, which witnessed a fourfold increase in 1994, after this it remained unchanged until 2002."

The use of "which" is wrong because it defines "trend," but a trend cannot show a fourfold increase - a figure can. And don't get me started in the comma splice.

Fix: "The figure showed an upward trend, witnessing a fourfold increase in 1994 and remaining unchanged until 2002."

3️⃣ "Being the least widely used means of transport, the quantity of Pipeline delivered goods began at just 5 million tonnes, demonstrating a gradual upward trend, with the figure increasing fourfold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."

This sentence is too complex and clumsy. Why don't we split it?

Fix: "Being the lowest throughout the period, the quantity of Pipeline transported goods began at just 5 million tonnes. The figure demonstrated a gradual upward trend, increasing four-fold to over 20 million tonnes in 1995 and remaining at the same level until the end of the period."

4️⃣ "The most used way of transportation was the road, starting at about 70 million tonnes. After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, it slightly dipped to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."

Bad referencing is by far the most common mistake. Here "it" refers to "way of transportation" - but a way cannot dip. A figure can.

Fix: "After a slight rise to 75m tonnes, this figure dipped slightly to the lowest point of 65 million tonnes."

5️⃣ "The amount of goods transported by road was the largest throughout the period, starting at 70 million tonnes. After decreasing slightly to just 67 million tonnes, [1] it started increasing gradually. Having dropped by just three tonnes in 1994, [2] it was followed by a significant increase between 1994 and 1998."

This is one more example of bad referencing. But it's more subtle. The first "it" is correct: it refers to "amount" and amount can increase. But the second "it" also seems to refer to "amount," but the we get "the amount was followed by a significant increase," which is not correct.

Fix: "... it started increasing gradually. This was followed by a drop of just three tonnes in 1994 and a subsequent increase until 1998."

All of the above are good mistakes because we can learn from them and become better writers. 💜

📝 Overuse of "and." Sequel. 📝

I've already written about the overuse of the conjunction "and" in a post before the previous one. In that post, the problem was packing too many concepts into one sentence. However, overuse of "and" can have a different root cause.

🗒 Here is a paragraph written by a student:

"Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, [1] and abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task. On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store [2] and this is the second reason for its popularity. There are no laws or rules which regulate the sales of harmful products or their advertisement and layout in stores. Businesses take advantage of this lack of regulations, [3] and, in their advertisements, they attract the attention of customers to the benefits of this food, while disregarding any information concerning its harm."

Here, the problem is different - the student uses "and" to introduce a new sentence. Doing so with the help of "and" is weak as this conjunction does not connect ideas in a meaningful way.

🗒 Fixes:

1️⃣ In the first case, the clauses have a "cause-effect" connection, so why don't we use "so"? ""Eating unhealthy food once, people crave for more, so abstinence from ultra processed food becomes a challenging task"

2️⃣ "And this is" is better of as "which." "On top of that, this tempting food can be easily purchased in any store, which is the second reason for its popularity"

3️⃣ Give it a shot in the comments?

☃️ Sentence clinic ☃️

Take a look at this sentence from an academic essay and try to figure out what needs to be fixed.

📝 Original:
"First of all, especially if you are aspiring to reduce your weight, a vegan diet consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto, can be of great help."

First, the sentence starts from a specific condition "especially if," which delays the introduction of the subject. Second, the subject "vegan diet" and the verb "can be" are very far away from each other, which also makes the sentence hard to understand. Both of these can be great techniques in more creative genres because they can create suspense and thus keep the reader engaged, but in academic writing we need to know what we are reading about very soon.

But my next question is - what is the purpose of the part between the subject and the verb ("consisting primarily of fruits, vegetables or grains and of dishes made from these plants, such as a lentil pasta or a spinach risotto")? Do we expect the reader not to know what a vegan diet is? OK, we can imagine a vegan diet that consists of pasta and meat-alternatives alone, without any vegetables or fruit. Such vegan diets are possible, but they are by far not the first association that comes to mind. So I'd say if we had to explain the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy vegan diet, we should explain the latter.

Finally, we need to get rid of "you."

📝 My rewrite:
"First of all, a vegan diet offers a whole host of health benefits, especially to those who are trying to lose weight. This, however, is only true for a traditional vegan diet, one that consists primarily of vegetables, fruit, and grains or dishes made from these plants."

Now we can enjoy a smoother introduction of ideas.