:༅｡ᴛɪᴀ's ɢᴀʟᴀxʏ☕

"We’re a team, you and I. And Malcolm, when he’s not busy screwing his way through the Stanford population. So if Carlsen is secretly an extraterrestrial life-form planning a takeover of Earth that will ultimately result in humanity being enslaved by evil overlords who look like cicadas, and the only way to stop him is dating him, you can tell me and I’ll inform NASA—”

📚The Love Hypothesis

“I’d feel better if you let me walk you to your car.”
“I don’t have a car.”
“Do you take the bus?”
“I bike. And my bike is right at the entrance of the building.”
He opened his mouth, and then closed it. And then opened it again.

“I’ll just go back to my office and begin to work on my Title IX complaint.”
“Yeah. That would be great, since— Wait. Your what?”
“Title IX is a federal law that protects against sexual misconduct within academic settings—”
“I know what Title IX is.”
“I see. So you willfully chose to disregard it.”
“I— What? No. No, I didn’t!”
“I must be mistaken, then. Someone else must have assaulted me.”
“Assault—I didn’t ‘assault’ you.”
“You did kiss me.”

📚The Love Hypothesis

Carlsen stared at her for a long moment, looking suddenly like he did during seminar, when people mixed up theory and hypothesis or admitted to using listwise deletion instead of imputation.