Am I asexual, or is something wrong with me?

I’d really like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar.

The first time I kissed someone, I felt absolutely nothing. Same thing the first time I had sex. I thought, okay, maybe the first time is just bad for everyone.

But then I had a bunch of casual hookups, and it’s always the same. I get so fucking bored during sex that I literally start thinking about wanting it to stop. I just can’t stay in the moment.

When we’re making out, I’m like, okay, I actually enjoy this. I like the closeness and the touching. But the second it gets to penetration, I’m completely turned off. And honestly, lying in bed having sex is so fucking boring that I could scream. My mind starts wandering to random shit like what I’m gonna cook or how I’m gonna get home.
Also, I don’t enjoy giving blowjobs at all. I only do it for my partner’s sake, not because I actually want to or enjoy it. And honestly, the only time I’m even willing to do it is if he’s gone down on me first.

During my last hookup, I literally just wanted it to be over so I could finally be done with it. Usually, if someone doesn’t go down on me, I don’t go down on them either. But this guy went down on me for a long time, and all I could think was, I just want this to fucking end. So I gave him a blowjob, and we called it a night.

The guy before him didn’t go down on me, so we ended up going at it for over three hours, and I still didn’t cum. I’ve literally never cum during sex with someone.
The only time a guy ever made me cum was when he used his hand. And even then, I had to basically walk him through everything, telling him where to touch me, what to do, and how to take control. It took forever, but he eventually got me there.

At this point, I feel like I’m a guy whose dick just won’t get hard. I’ve started being scared of having sex because I already know exactly how it’s gonna go. I’m gonna feel nothing, get bored, and just wait for it to be over.
The last guy couldn’t even stay hard unless I held his dick for him, and even then, I couldn’t really feel anything myself.

Or could this have something to do with growing up in a very religious and conservative environment?

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