Post #630
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Forwarded from long bacon store

[Beat. SAM is clearly dejected.]
GERTRUDE: (standing) Well if that’s all, we really have to get on with our day…SAM: (standing) Of course, we’ll just be going then. Ah, well.
GERRY: Don’t take it too much to heart. It’s such a lovely morning.
SAM: (smiling) You’re not wrong.
GERTRUDE: (opening the door) Off you go then. Nice to meet you both.
GERRY: (bustling) Don’t forget Camden Epiphany!
CELIA: Wouldn’t dream of it.
GERRY: (still bustling) And come back soon! Always a pleasure to chat with old friends!
GERTRUDE: I don’t know they’ll have much reason to, Gerry. (to Sam) Good luck hunting elsewhere.
SAM: Thanks again for your time.
CELIA: Bye Gerry!
GERRY: Bye Celia!
[The door closes with us outside alongside Sam and Celia.]
GERRY: (muffled) I liked them.
GERTRUDE: (muffled) Of course you do.
GERRY: (bustling in) Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t
expecting anyone
CELIA: One empty mug hardly counts as
“mess.”
GERRY: Oh you’re too kind! (calling from the kitchen) There’s some fresh sourdough rolls, if you want a bite?
AM: No thank you!
GERRY: (calling) You sure? Homemade lemon curd to go with it…
SAM: (calling) We’re fine, honestly!
GERRY: (calling) Tea? Coffee? Orange juice?
CELIA: (calling) You’re very kind, but nothing for us, thank you!
GERRY: (reentering) Well, if you’re sure…
[GERRY sits with a cup of herbal tea.]
GERRY: (sitting) So where were we, I don’t think I caught your names…
SAM: Sam.
CELIA: (walking around) Celia.
GERRY: Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!
SAM: (smiling) We know.
GERRY: (laughing) Oh right, course you do! You asked for me, duh! So what can I do you for?
SAM: Right, well
CELIA: This place all yours?
GERRY: (laughing) With London rent? Hardly! Don’t get me wrong, the landlord’s lovely and all, but I still share it with Gee Gee.
CELIA: Gee Gee?
[Gertrude enters.]
GERTRUDE: That would be me.
GERRY: Visitors, Gee Gee!
GERTRUDE: Yes I can see that Gerry.
GERTRUDE: (coldly) To what do we owe this early morning… pleasure.
SAM: Oh yeah, sorry we work nights so…
GERTRUDE: So?
[Beat.]
SAM: Ahem. Well… uh… we were
wondering
CELIA: Did you paint this?
GERTRUDE: Excuse me?
GERRY: Oh yes! I call it “Camden Epiphany”. Do you like it?
CELIA: It’s lovely!
GERRY: You can have it if you want.
GERRY: It’s fine honestly, I’ve got plenty more out back. You’d be doing us a favor to be honest. Gee Gee’s always saying they take up too much space
aren’t you Gee Gee?
GERTRUDE: What exactly did you say was your business with my grandson?
CELIA: Uh… Sam?
SAM: Right. Of course. I was wondering if you knew anything about The
Magnus Institute?
[Beat. No-one moves.]
SAM: (cont.) I was on one of their gifted kids programs and -um- I got hold of a list of a few of the other kids and thought it might be nice if we could get in contact, swap stories and that.
GERTRUDE: I see. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you
GERRY: Yeah I barely remember any of it.
[Beat. GERTRUDE disapproves.]
SAM: Oh, so you were a candidate?
GERRY: Oh yeah but I was pretty young. I remember filling in a bunch of forms and questionnaires then some old men asking me questions about what books I liked to read, who did I look up to, that kind of thing. Then I left.
SAM: (Disappointed) That’s all?
GERRY: Yea, afraid so. Other than just sitting around with a bunch of other kids in a room that smelled like old books.
