“Say someone who carries years of childhood trauma and very deep shame, which many of us carry, goes to an ayahuasca retreat. During the ceremony, they suddenly feel very loved; maybe their grandmother comes in and pours unconditional love onto them, and they feel cosmically significant and connected to the universe.

Their fragile ego, that is unable to tolerate the idea that they have flaws or that they are just ordinary, can latch onto that experience and inflate from it.

The experience doesn’t soften their ego; instead, it hardens into a new inflated identity. The feeling of being loved turns into, “I am special, God has chosen me, the divine Mother is speaking to me only.” This becomes a new identity that further prevents them from feeling the underlying shame of childhood trauma.

Then they come back from the ceremony and maybe they give themselves a new name or say they are the divine Mother or they are a channel for the divine Mother. They present themselves as this “chosen one,” or maybe they believe they’ve been given a special mission.

If you believe that you’re cosmically chosen by God, the wound itself doesn’t need to be explored; it’s running the show from the unconscious. It’s the need to feel superior to others because this feeling of unconditional love is a defense around the wounded child that still feels inferior to others which hides under this new identity.

You see this chosen one narrative in spiritual communities. The depth of the grandiosity of the personality is in direct proportion to the shame it’s covering up, and what the ego is doing is identifying with the archetypal experience rather than witnessing and experiencing it.”

-Laura Matsue

Episode 177 – Spiritual Awakening or Spiritual Psychosis?

Listen to this podcast episode by clicking the link below or by searching Cosmic Matrix on iTunes, Spotify, or any other podcast streamer. https://veilofreality.com/2026/06/27/spiritual-awakening-or-spiritual-psychosis-tcm-177-part-1

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