Naikan (Japanese: 内観, lit. 'introspection') is a structured method of self-reflection influenced by Shin Buddhist principles. The term first appears in the work of the Shin Buddhist thinker Kiyozawa Manshi (1863–1903) to refer to a form of ethical and religious introspection.[1] The practice of naikan was taken up by Kiyozawa's followers and developed in numerous directions.
Influenced by these modern developments, as well as by his experiences in ascetic practice, the Shin Buddhist cleric Rev. Yoshimoto Ishin (1916–1988) developed a form of therapy in the 1940s which he also called naikan.[2][3]
A lot of people feel entitled to things. They play the victim, and they feel hard done by when the world doesn't go their way. Everything is filtered through a lens of me, me, me.
A great way to help with this and to undo the ego just a bit is with the Japanese Buddhist method of Naikan.
Naikan is an introspective therapy, and it's developed by Ishin Yoshimoto, where Naikan literally means 'looking inwards'. But this is not some vague and sentimental thing, but it's done with rigour and with structure. It all starts with intention, where you choose someone or something important to you, for example, your spouse, or your child, your parent, your community, your job, or whatever. And then you ask yourself these three questions.
First, 'What have I received from them?'
Second, 'What have I given to them?'
And third, 'What troubles or difficulties have I caused them?'
That's it. That's all there is to the therapy.
Naikan doesn't get you to list all of the ways that somebody might have hurt you. It doesn't wallow in grievances. Instead, it asks you to see yourself as somebody who has received endless and unearned kindness. We start to remember the meals that we got without any thanks, the teachers who put up with our foolishness without any irritation, and the friends that we have wronged but never actually apologised to.
Naikan flips the moral debt upside down, but it also flips your ego upside down as well. Because this is all to do with the Buddhist idea of dependent origination, which is the idea that nothing arises by itself. You are held, you are shaped, and you are sustained by a thousand invisible hands. And in the world obsessed with entitlement, Naikan asks us to appreciate what is given to us all the more.