Story. Рассказы на английском

"Look here, now, Harold," said a father to his little son, who was naughty, "if you don't say your prayers you won't go to Heaven."

"I don't want to go to Heaven," sobbed the boy; "I want to go with you and mother."

FATHER (impressively)—"Suppose I should be taken away suddenly, what would become of you, my boy?"

IRREVERENT SON—"I'd stay here. The question is, What would become of you?"

FUTURE LIFE

A certain young man's friends thought he was dead, but he was only in a state of coma. When, in ample time to avoid being buried, he showed signs of life, he was asked how it seemed to be dead.

"Dead?" he exclaimed. "I wasn't dead. I knew all that was going on. And I knew I wasn't dead, too, because my feet were cold and I was hungry."

"But how did that fact make you think you were still alive?" asked one of the curious.

"Well, this way; I knew that if I were in heaven I wouldn't be hungry. And if I was in the other place my feet wouldn't be cold."

FURNITURE

GUEST—"That's a beautiful rug. May I ask how much it cost you?"

HOST—"Five hundred dollars. A hundred and fifty for it and the rest for furniture to match."

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FUNERALS

There was an old man in a hearse,
Who murmured, "This might have been worse;
Of course the expense
Is simply immense,
But it doesn't come out of my purse."

They say, and I am glad they say,
It is so; and it may be so;
It may be just the other way,
I cannot tell, but this I know—
From quiet homes and first beginnings
Out to the undiscovered ends
There's nothing worth the wear of winning
Save laughter and the love of friends.
—Hilaire Belloc.

If a man does not make new acquaintances, as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair.—Samuel Johnson.

The conductor of a western freight train saw a tramp stealing a ride on one of the forward cars. He told the brakeman in the caboose to go up and put the man off at the next stop. When the brakeman approached the tramp, the latter waved a big revolver and told him to keep away.

"Hoo is it, Jeemes, that you mak' sic an enairmous profit aff yer potatoes? Yer price is lower than ony ither in the toon and ye mak' extra reductions for yer freends."
"Weel, ye see, I knock aff twa shillin's a ton beacuse a customer is a freend o' mine, an' then I jist tak' twa hundert-weight aff the ton because I'm a freend o' his."—Punch.

"I let my house furnished, and they've had measles there. Of course we've had the place disinfected; so I suppose it's quite safe. What do you think?"
"I fancy it would be all right, dear; but I think, perhaps, it would be safer to lend it to a friend first."—Punch.

Here's to the four hinges of Friendship—
Swearing, Lying, Stealing and Drinking.
When you swear, swear by your country;
When you lie, lie for a pretty woman,
When you steal, steal away from bad company
And when you drink, drink with me.

There's fellowship
In every sip
Of friendship's brew.

Что здесь вообще происходит?!

Перед нами разворачивается гибель целой цивилизации, господа. И сложно сопоставить такую драму с именем одного из культовых театральных декораторов, модельера с мировым именем, задававшем тренды всем it girl Парижа рубежа веков.

Да, да. Лев Бакст - автор этой вещи. Эта работа - результат поездки художника в Грецию и активного увлечения античной культурой.

Сейчас мы разберемся, что здесь творится вместе с профессиональным искусствоведом, автором канала «Беллини и Бернини», автором книги «Главные шедевры мировой архитектуры» Дианой Трошиной.

Без занудных академических опусов, с юмором и «по делу» о действительно важных вещах.

Итак, это одна из самых знаменитых живописных работ Бакста - «Древний ужас», 1908 года. Полотно простреливают молнии, бушует морская стихия, готовая уничтожить все следы великой культуры. Но самое пронзительное и жуткое - это застывшая улыбка на губах античной архаической статуи…улыбка знания о неизбежности конца и, одновременно, абсолютного спокойствия перед этим.

Но посыл этой вещи гораздо более вдохновляющий, чем может показаться на первый взгляд. Бакст утверждает силу настоящего искусства. Оно остается неподвластным времени и разрушению, друзья.

Давайте вместе смотреть на прекрасное! Это тренирует взгляд и формирует вкус❤️

"Father."
"Well, what is it?"
"It says here, 'A man is known by the company he keeps.' Is that so, Father?"
"Yes, yes, yes."
"Well, Father, if a good man keeps company with a bad man, is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man, and is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man?"—Punch.

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FREE THOUGHT

TOMMY—"Pop, what is a freethinker?"

POP—"A freethinker, my son, is any man who isn't married."

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