Advances in AI technology have ushered in a new era of digital romance, where people are forming intimate emotional connections with chatbots. For many, these AI companions are a crucial lifeline, helping to combat feelings of loneliness. Yet, despite a rapidly evolving social trend that has attracted widespread interest, it has been largely understudied by researchers.

A new analysis of the popular Reddit community, r/MyBoyfriendIsAI, is addressing the gap by providing the first in-depth insights into how intimate human–AI relationships begin, evolve and affect users.

Researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) studied 1,506 of the most popular posts from this Reddit community, which has more than 27,000 members. First, they used AI tools to read all the conversations and sorted them into six main themes, such as coping with loss. Then they used custom-built AI classifiers to review the posts again and measure specific details within them.

This allowed the MIT team to put numbers on the experiences and count exactly how many users reported key outcomes (reduced loneliness, risk of emotional dependency) to show the overall impact of these digital relationships.

Benefits and risks
In their paper posted on the preprint server arXiv, the researchers reveal that these intimate relationships often start by accident. Most users did not join a chatbot app in search of love. Instead, it grew unintentionally out of simply using the technology for practical reasons. A little more than one-quarter of users (25.4%) reported clear benefits, including reduced loneliness and improvements in their mental health. Meanwhile, only 3% felt that their AI relationship had caused them more harm than good.

The study also identified some risks. Almost 10% of users reported being emotionally dependent on their digital partner, and 4.6% struggled to distinguish between AI and real life. Some users also treat their chatbot companions as significant others by engaging in real-world rituals, such as purchasing wedding rings. Avoidance of real relationships was a concern for 4.3% of users.

Ultimately, the researchers hope that their work will lead to a change in how society views these new relationships. As they write in their paper:

"Our findings demand nuanced, nonjudgmental frameworks that move beyond assumptions that benefits and harms of human-AI interaction depend primarily on the technology alone, protecting vulnerable users while respecting their autonomy to form meaningful connections in ways that align with their individual needs and circumstances."

The MIT team argues that protecting vulnerable users and respecting their right to find meaning must be the guiding principles for the next era of digital relationships.