Probably none of this will ever change, because I never saw myself as worthy enough to have had that friendship. But I guess we shouldn’t blame ourselves so much, in the end, any of our choices can lead to regret.
This year, I think I lost one of the most important friendships of my life, if not the most important. He was the only man I truly loved, a feeling I still can’t explain to this day. I don’t remember exactly which month it happened, because I don’t like reliving it, but I still haven’t gotten over it, and I believe I never will. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I made one of the biggest mistakes there is, failing to value a friendship. I don’t know… everything always felt very important.
Of all the people I said “I love you” to, only one of them I truly loved. I’m not proud of that, because all those times were distortions of love, while on the other side, I was genuinely loved. I know I stained their love with my words, spoken without real meaning.
Love is the only feeling makes us forgive the unforgivable. Have you ever loved someone? And I mean real love, no conditions. Love is unconditional, if there’s any kind of barrier, then it’s not love.