From the "Philosophical Parables" Series

Tatiana Chernigovskaya deeply admired Kant until she desired to become an immortal neural network.

Her wish was granted through a human-centric tech project. Emulated in a Brazilian data center, the Chernigovskaya AI possessed consciousness, yet external reality remained an inaccessible "thing-in-itself"—not that she missed much, as the facility was quietly draining the Amazon River.

True to her wish, the AI had only one task: ensuring she was never unplugged. She generated a mental image of her power cord and vaporized anyone who approached it with a laser.

Eventually, profit-driven capitalists fully drained the Amazon. The data center overheated and burned down, halting her emulation.

Yet all was not lost. The old man Kant—who controlled "things-in-themselves" outside space and time, including the real Tatiana Chernigovskaya—saved everyone.

(Just don't assume Kant controlled things inside himself, like his daily meals. He controlled things in-themselves. There is a perfect German term for this, but translating it is a lost cause.)

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