sitting on my hands and do nothing is the hardest thing for me. when i think market goes up i wanna bet on smth, when i think market is in trouble and goes lower i want to short. despite me not being good at perps trading at all. i also have no clue about macro. i always operated under the premise „react, not predict“.

and the logical consequence of this would be to do nothing in times like this. wait until market shows its hand and then become active again when opportunity presents itself. but i am not doing that. i continue betting, in areas where i have no edge.

maybe i have developed a gambling addiction on the way. i cannot take one single day off, am active every day. birthday, christmas, NYE doesn‘t matter. currently i am on vacation (forced myself to take 3 days off to re-set) and all i can think of is the market.