we spent most of our week like a married couple would.
it was an unfortunate marriage. obnoxious, even. if i ever happened to stumble across such a couple in public, i'd be astonished at what truly miserable fates people choose to bind themselves to.
when tyler promised to teach me his ways of life, i never imagined it would have me being taught that in all its ridicule nature the whole premise of "beating means loving" would ultimately end up being true.
tyler licks the newly formed blood droplet off my chin before it can stain his dress pants. in his tailored white suit he looks like he just broke out of the pearly gates. out of every scenario on how he could end up walking the same earth as i am i find a willing escape the most likely. i forgive him everything, so how could jesus not?
i reach for his face cautiously. with tyler, you can never really know what comes next.
he smiles against my mouth - he knows. everything i've ever known tyler knows too, and what i have yet to figure out he knows aswell. embarassingly, he beat me to knowing myself.
his chest is hard against mine, but in spite of all his refined musculature his grip on me doesn't feel any sort of excessively tight. "a desperate need to claim cherished as personal possessions is a sign of an insecure man" - i once read somewhere. i can picture tyler as anything under the sun but insecure.
sometimes i find myself wishing in one of his stunts tyler bites my tongue off. if i ever had to meet my ultimate demise, i want my last memories to be of me coughing up blood on the pristine fabric of his suit and watch his face contort in something primal i would likely hardly be able to recognise.
in joy and sorrow, in content and in rage, in expensive perfume and in blood and sweat, amongst meatpile dwellers of concrete anthills and against a tainted basement floor, in a chanting crowd and complete silence i could never be alone.
i never told him my "yes", but i didn't have to.
you've met me in my tedious existence and turned it into a very strange time in my life.
i could confess i'm grateful, but i think you already know.
: : #тейк ⇄ @TylercestTakeBot ›