Don't Shoot the Dog. Part 2: Change the Behavior

Let's continue with `Don’t Shoot the Dog` by Karen Pryor.

The author says that there are only 8 methods to change the undesired behavior.

To make explanation simple let's use some real-life situation:
Your roommate has an annoying habit to throw socks around the room.

#1. Shoot the animal 🔫
Get rid of the source of the problem, so they physically can’t do it anymore.
Example: Change the roommate.

#2. Punishment 🤬
It's the most popular and the most inefficient method. When punishment doesn't work, people try to add more and more serious punishments. But it leads nowhere.
Example: Yell and scold. Threaten to throw the socks away.

#3. Negative Reinforcement 😞
Remove something unpleasant after the desired behavior happens. The idea is that the person will behave a certain way to avoid discomfort.
Example: Ignore the roommate until socks are picked up.

#4. Extinction 😐
Remove any reinforcement, after that unwanted behavior will die on its own. The method is best applied to verbal behavior - whining, teasing, and bullying.
Example: Just wait and hope your roommate realize it’s a bad habit.

#5. Train an Incompatible Behavior 🍬
Train a new behavior that can’t happen at the same time as the bad one.
Example: Pick up and wash socks together to make it fun activity, get a reward.

#6. Put the Behavior on Cue 🔕
Train the person to do the behavior only when given a specific signal. Without the cue, the behavior disappears.
Example: Have a laundry fight. See how a big mess you can both make in the room.

#7. Shape the Absence 🍺
Reward any behavior except the problem one.
Example: Buy a beer to your roommate when the room is clean.

#8. Change the Motivation ☺️
Make an accurate estimate of what the motivation is, and reward it.
Example: Find a motivational reward for picking up socks — or just hire a housekeeper.

As you can see there are 4 negative methods (1-4) and 4 positive (5-8). Negative methods don't teach anyone to anything and provide unpredictable results.
So if you really want to shape someone's behavior, then your choice is positive reinforcement.

I read this book a while ago and started using these ideas in my real life. What can I say: the most difficult part is to change my own instincts and avoid negative methods. Each time I need to stop, think and act in a different way. This process takes efforts and energy, sometimes I fail, but I see that positive reinforcement results are really better.

Strongly recommend to add the book to your reading list 📚.

#booknook #softskills #communications