Ну, что-то типа того.

🛸🛸🛸

"You're . . . sure?" he asked.
"Absolutely," said Brian. "Besides, how would anyone even know?"
"Well, my dad. . ." Carter muttered. "He kinda guessed some. Like, yeah, he only guessed half of it -- thinks I'm providing the tent for you and Am, but give him time, he'll figure out the whole deal."
"To hell with your dad," said Brian. "Look. We both like her, right? And she likes us. Everyone kinda knows that already. So what's the matter? Let them say what they want."

Carter shrugged and bit his lip. He felt gutted, and it was disgusting, just how much of Brian's fault it was. It shouldn't be this way, thought Carter, it shouldn't, they're besties, happy as they are, but bloody hell that wasn't enough! He bit his lip again. It hurt. It was OK though. He had to bite deep, so he wouldn't start fucking sobbing right there.

"Just so you know," said Brian. "I'm going for the stargaze. Getting laid is more like a bonus. I mean, it's Am's idea, right? I'm up for it, obviously, but that's not why I'm going in the first place."

It was not Amanda's idea (obviously) to bring a huge army tent so that they could have a three-way in it. It was Carter's idea, and Am was just happy to sell it to Brian. As her own. Obviously.

"You are a freak, Brian Twist," said Carter. "A complete degenerate freak. Who the hell prefers stargazing over a bloody threesome?"
Brian smiled at him.
"I mean," he said. "In the end, don't I get both?"
And Carter felt like punching him in the face.
"Freak!" he muttered under his breath. He wanted to say something else. His throat was tight and scratchy. He was almost choking on the aftermath of his profound failure, his pathetic mind short-circuiting, trying to calculate damages payment for almost ripping his heart out and turning it into some pagan style offering which Brian totally didn't need.

"Wait," said Carter. "Don't move!"
He pulled away, reached back with one hand and swept across the floor, searching for his camera. Once he caught Brian's stupid stoned face in the comfort of his viewfinder, Carter felt like he could breathe again. He wasn't looking at Brian directly, and it gave him space.
Brian giggled and tried hiding his face in his palms.
"Dude, don't! 'm too high!"
"I said, don't move," Carter whispered to him and pressed the button. Click! Like, maybe Brian didn't bend that way after all. Click. Maybe all of the signals Carter felt about him (click click) were no more than the mixture of his horny imagination and wishful thinking?

Click! Click! Click!

"You know, mate. . . . " Brian said. "Has it ever occurred to you. . . like . . . all our worries aren't even worth it?"

He lay on his back, arms crossed under his head, looking at the ceiling, as if it was night sky. Carter closed up on his face. Click! The way lamplight scattered across his freckled cheeks. Click! The glinting piercing bell showing through the messy brown locks of hair, sweat-sticky on Brian's forehead. Click! Click! Clickclickclick.

"All of this mess. . . " Brian continued. "School, parents, grades, GCSE's, girlfriends, boyfriends, other friends, all of it! So. . . tiny. So insignificant. In-con-seq-ue-e-en-tial. . ." He was too stoned to say long smart words like that. Carter smiled even though he didn't want to. He felt broken and twisted, but MDMA was merciless. It made him act different. It bludgeoned his brain with how much he loved these moments, being close to Brian, even though he had to seal away most of his emotional waterfall. And Brian. . . . He looked like he couldn't hide a thing even if he tried. He was too out of place to hold secrets.
"Like, a week ago," he said. "I might have cared about it still. Now I don't. Come to think of it, everything we've got here. . . pretty much ashes, compared to what's out there, you know?"

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