“It is not exactly clear how Westerners got the idea that married couples, or, for that matter, any couple having a lot of desire for each other, could practice the Vajrayana techniques taken from tantric Buddhism or some other spiritual tradition. They try to visualize themselves as deities but then engage in an ordinary sexual act based on attachment/desire. They want an experience of something more blissful than ever before. This is one of the biggest mistakes a person can make. This activity does not even approximate the practices we are discussing.

One who attempts tantric practices in this way, lacking the proper prerequisites and permission from the vajra guru, just accumulates causes for lower rebirtheven, perhaps, causes for the lowest possible rebirth, since this is to misuse and disrespect pure Dharma practice. Pure Dharma has nothing to do with ordinary sexual desire.

Since deities do not have desires, it is a grave error to visualize oneself as a deity to achieve purposes conceived by a desiring mind. A yogi or yogini who practices with a partner must not lose even one drop of essential fluid and must definitely be free of desire or attachment. To perform these secret practices, a practitioner must be on a very high level and must practice solely for the sake of sentient beings. When a practitioner arrives at this level of practice, it is very wonderful, but one must wait until the right time arrives.

The practices of union are the most secret for a number of reasons. These practices are protected with secrecy because, of all desirable activities, human beings have the greatest desire for sex, and this desire causes them to misuse and misinterpret the practices.

If human beings, motivated by sexual desire, attempt these most advanced techniques without being qualified, they will definitely suffer in lower rebirths. This is, in fact, one of the fastest ways to be born into the lower realms. These practices are kept secret to prevent their being misused.

You must understand that the Vajrayana practices are the swiftest of all Buddhist teachings and the most secret. They are protected ever so carefully by the protector deities (dharmapalas). If you misuse these practices, the dharmapalas create obstacles for you and your teachers. For instance, a potentially long life could be shortened.”

Gyatrul Rinpoche