I'm so scared of death, and I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of losing the ones I care about. What do you mean, one day I wake up without the ones I truly love? The ones who loved me the way I am, the ones who genuinely cared about me?
How can a lifetime become a photo, a memory, a story to share?
Honestly, I still can't get over the fact that some people are actually gone and never coming back. Sometimes I accidentally forget. I almost say something like, "Let's call and check on them."
But oh, they're... gone?
I've never forgotten any one of them. I miss them in a way that makes my heart ache. Every time someone recites a story about them, my throat tightens. Sometimes I'm capable of hiding the pain that they're no longer here. Other times I can't endure the pain —the pretending that everything is fine when it isn't.
I miss their voices. I wish I could remember, but a part of me has forgotten.
I hope they're resting peacefully. I hope they've heard the words in my head that I'm too scared to acknowledge out loud. I hope I never fail them.