“Oh, no. No, no, no. No. You can’t pay for my stuff.”
“I can’t?”
“That’s not the kind of fake relationship we’re having.”
“It isn’t?”
“Nope. I would never fake-date a dude who thinks that he has to pay for my coffee just because he’s a dude.”
“I doubt a language exists in which the thing you just ordered could be referred to as ‘coffee.’ ”
“Hey—”
“And it’s not about me being a ‘dude’ —but about you still being a grad student. And your yearly income.”

📚The Love Hypothesis