An election season again, and you know what that means. Sheriff secret police will be coming by to collect certain family members, so that everyone votes for the correct council seats, and there is no confusion. These family members will be held insecure in an undisclosed location, which everyone knows is an abandoned mine shaft outside of a town. But don't let the name fool you, listeners. It's been used for years for so many kidnappings and illegal detentions that the abandoned mine shaft outside of a town is actually a pretty nice location these days, featuring king-sized beds, free Wi-Fi, and HBO. Also, torture cubicles, but I don't think anyone's going to make city council use those. Remember, this is America. Vote correctly or never see your loved ones again! 
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