Пришло автоматический ответ от коллеги, который сейчас в отпуске. Улыбнулся.

Q: Will my email be answered during my absence?
A: During the gaps between OOO periods? yes, eventually. During the OOO periods themselves? no. Afterwards? Yes, but it might take some time.

Q: Can I reach you by any other means?
A: During my brief returns,? sure. During OOO? unfortunately no.

Q: What if I need a decision from you specifically?
A: No.

Q: What if my project deadline is tomorrow?
A: Also no.

Q: What if it's really, truly urgent?
A: Still no

Q: What if I just need a quick five-minute answer?
A: Be honest, nothing takes just five minutes. Also no.

Q: What if I email you seventeen times?
A: Then I'll have seventeen more unread emails. Also no.

Q: What if the building is on fire?
A: Please contact the fire department. Also you should not write E-Mails

Q: What if I am on fire?
A: Call for help, do not write E-Mails (still impressive though and I feel honoured that you thought of writing me)

Q: What if you are on fire?
A: I'd make an exception then. But please contact me directly (preferably with a bucket of water) not via E-Mail. You should easily spot me in that case.

Q: What if I just really miss you?
A: That's very kind. But sorry, still no

Q: Is this a vacation or a prolonged escape?
A: Let's call it a strategic retreat. There's a difference. I'm still figuring out what it is.

Q: Will you be back?
A: I'm afraid so. Unless I'm inheriting a lot of money from a distant relative.

Q: Sorry, I meant WHEN will you be back?
A: Ah, makes sense. After the sporadic returns, definitively on ....

Q: What is heavier? A pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?
A: The pound of feathers. It also carries all the emotional weight of all the birds.

Q: What do you actually do during time off?
A: Legally, I'm not allowed to discuss it.