out of one

I pretend to be myself
in awkward public chats
I make good things look even worse
I think I've lost my chance.

never was someone with feelings
but sometimes I experience fun
I can't even stare at the ceiling —
through eyelids I still see the sun

all I could see back then was fog
or it's just my imagination
anyway it's nowdays, now it's locked
just as my dear nation.