You’ve never learned how to deal with fearing what others feel about you... and so you avoid it.
But... don’t the others hate me?
What are you, stupid? Haven't you realised it's all in your imagination, you mega dork!
But... I hate myself...
They’re nice to me. They’re nice to me. When I pilot the Eva, they treat me better. Other people are being nice to me for the first time.
Which is your true feeling?
I don’t know. Or is it... perhaps that both are my true feelings?
So that’s why you pilot the Eva?
Because I have no choice. I only have the Eva.
Otherwise, you cannot retain your own identity. In fact, Eva Unit-1 is part of your sense of being.
But if you depend only on the Eva, then the Eva will become your only identifier. And it will become your only value.
Without that value, you, the real you, will be erased from this existence.