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Utopian Ruin Utopian Ruin @levshacloser · 137 subscribers
Post #148 571
As summer finally closes out, I want to leave some honest thoughts here.

If I’m being completely transparent, this was the hardest summer I’ve ever lived through. I walked into it with a massive blueprint—private school, diving into quant, landing an internship, learning Spanish and more. But at the very last second, every single piece fell apart.
I spent these three months in a heavy, quiet kind of valley. I faced extreme discouragement from people close to me, watched my plans pull a complete 180, and ended up losing some friends, along with my trust in a few others. I felt every shade of blue you can possibly experience. No matter how much effort I put into forcing a positive outlook, there were days I just couldn't see the light ahead.
But surviving it taught me something invaluable. I learned how to carry the weight. I learned how to function and move forward even when my head was heavy and my body felt numb, without wearing that exhaustion on my sleeve. More than anything, my emotional maturity leveled up. I finally learned the art of walking away. When someone is fighting desperately just to be "right" over something pointless, I let them have the win. Whether it’s nodding along to end it, deflecting with a joke, or just letting it go—I realized my peace is worth more than my pride.
It wasn't all a loss, though. Out of the chaos, I crossed paths with a brilliant teacher, made some solid new friends, and most importantly, I found one truly great person.
It wasn't the summer I planned for, but it was the one that forced me to grow up.
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