IELTS essays: under-explaining, over-explaining, and balance. 👑

I often see two extremes in #IELTS essays: under-explaining and over-explaining. Extremes are no good. Balance is king. 👑

Who is the judge though? Your reader. The trick is to be able to read your reader's mind. As usual, let's look at some specific examples.

Topic: In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

1️⃣ Under-explaining.

"First and foremost, famous people present carefully curated personas to the public. This means they might not reveal the whole truth and misrepresent what it took to achieve success. As a result, younger people often put enormous effort into pursuing what they cannot accomplish anyway, wasting their time and facing disappointment."

The ideas are clear. But the reader is likely to be left with a nagging feeling, "Nice. But tell me more."

2️⃣ Over-explaining.

"First and foremost, famous people present carefully curated personas to the public rather than their real selves, thereby imposing unrealistic ideals on the public. In fact, many even hire PR teams who are responsible for the image presented publicly and who plan what to post or how to spin a certain fact. This means celebrities might not reveal the whole truth and thus misrepresent what it took to achieve success. They might, for example, speak about hard work, resilience, determination, and commitment on their way to top accomplishments while failing to mention their friends or relatives who introduced or recommended them to the right people. As a result, younger people often put enormous effort into pursuing what they cannot accomplish anyway, wasting their time and facing disappointment. Instead, they could have pursued goals that would be more realistic with their abilities, being more likely to succeed."

The ideas are all good and valid. But the reader might think, "OMG, I get it. Did you really have to write so much to say this?"

3️⃣ Balance.

"First and foremost, famous people present carefully curated personas to the public rather than their real selves, thereby imposing unrealistic ideals on the public. This means they might not reveal the whole truth and misrepresent what it took to achieve success. They might, for example, speak about hard work and resilience, while failing to mention their friends or relatives who introduced or recommended them to the right people. As a result, younger people often put enormous effort into pursuing what they cannot accomplish anyway, wasting their time and facing disappointment."

The ideas are the same. I told the reader a bit more and removed ideas that, while valid, are not absolutely essential.

See my full essay in the book shared above. ❤️

#ieltswritingtask2