IELTS Writing Task 2: Task Response

To highlight a certain flaw to my students, I sometimes write two similar versions of the same paragraph and ask to identify the better one.

Here are two versions of the beginning of the first body paragraph on this topic: "The numbers of plants and animals is decreasing in most countries. Why is this happening? What can be done about it?" 🐼

Which has better Task Response? Why? ❓

1️⃣ "Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so for a range of purposes, from construction and expansion of cities to clearing the land for farming and agriculture."

2️⃣ "Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so because they have to invade plant and animal habitats and since the number of people is high, it, in essence, replaces biodiversity."

Key: The first version has better Task Response because it develops the previous idea by introducing purposes (= something new). The second version simply repeats the previous sentence in different words.

Don't confuse repetition of ideas and development of ideas.

How would you develop the idea further? What would be your next sentence? Share in the comments. 📝

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