📝 IELTS Writing Task 2: Task Response case study 📝

Two of my groups are writing their first IELTS essays - and making good mistakes (= mistakes we can learn from). 💜

Take a look at the paragraph below. Can you spot what's wrong?

📝 Topic: "Because some children do not seem to have a natural ability to learn another language, schools should not force those children to study a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree?"

📝 Student's original paragraph:

"As we now live in an increasingly interdependent world, speaking a second language has become a part and parcel of many professions. Nowadays, it is a common practice for companies to extend their markets by opening subsidiaries overseas, which makes them in need of bilingual employees. Professionals, who speak a few languages have a greater number of available jobs, thus, they can climb the career ladder much faster. Children who have not acquired any second language will feel as if they are lagging behind the competition."

What's wrong is that the paragraph is not really about children without abilities learning languages at school. It's about professionals who speak foreign languages having a competitive advantage on the job market. The connection between the two is really vague and distant.

Also, the paragraph mentions bilingual people and those who speak a few foreign languages - do such people really qualify as those who do not seem to have a natural ability to learn another language?

So, where do you stand on this? Should children who do not seem to have a natural ability to learn another language be forced to take a foreign language class at school? What would be your reasons?