☃️ IELTS writing: stay on track with Task Response ☃️

Topic: "Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion."

I'll share the beginning of the paragraph arguing the first point of view. As you read, think about what subtracts from Task Response.

📝 Student's original paragraph:
"Some people find History more essential for a student than Science or Technology. This is because such a subject as History accumulates the experience of the past, enabling people to see the mistakes of their previous generations. Relying on this experience, it is possible to forecast future events more accurately and to be able to make more correct decisions about the future."

If you read the second and the third sentence carefully, you'll see that they are very neutral: the former is about people in general, while the latter doesn't have any agents at all.

To stay on track with Task Response in this case, you need to write about schools and students.

📝 My re-write:
"Some people consider History to be a more essential subject than Science or Technology. This is because it accumulates the experience of the past, studying which the students can develop their analytical skills and learn from the mistakes of their previous generations. These skills and knowledge can later become useful both in their university studies and in their professional life."

Now the paragraph is closely connected with schools (lexical items: study, skills, learn, knowledge, university studies), not to mention that students - very specific agents - are featured in both the second and the third sentence.

Many IELTS topics feature specific categories of people: students, children, men/women, sports people, the unemployed, etc. After you've written a paragraph, re-read it to make sure you wrote about the specific category in the task rather than people in general. ☃️☃️☃️