Sentence clinic 📝📝📝

A bunch of awkward sentences from my "Writing with New Scientist" students + and my fixes.

1️⃣
✖️"Discarding things either with their useful life having ended or having become out of fashion seems an ordinary action for many consumers for a number of reasons."
✅ "Discarding things either when their useful life has ended or when they have gone out of fashion seems an ordinary action for many consumers for a number of reasons."

2️⃣
✖️"One reason is the abundance of commodities which is a feature that developed countries boast, while developing countries are eager to reach that point when their residents can easily afford everything they need."
✅ "One reason is the abundance of commodities which is a feature that developed countries boast and developing countries strive to attain." / "One reason is the abundance of commodities. While developed countries have already achieved it, developing countries are striving to, aiming for the point when their residents can easily afford everything they need."

3️⃣
✖️ "Breaking the current system requires the recycling technology to be improved and, hence, implemented, while some unsustainable materials to be sacrificed due to their complicated recycling process."
✅ "Breaking the current system requires the recycling technology to be function effectively and the unsustainable materials to be sacrificed due to their complicated recycling process."

4️⃣
✖️ "The problem is that we are taking from nature more than we need, while the solution is that by taking only necessary things humans will be able to be happy without killing the world around us."
✅ "The problem is that we are taking from nature more than we need, while the solution to take only the necessary things. By doing so, humans will be able to be happy without killing the world around them. "

Fixing awkward sentences is one of my favorite activities. My fixes are not the only possible fixes, of course. Can you think of some more?