DISBAND.

The first thing that changed was the way he sounded, as if his voice no longer belonged to the same place as mine. I tried to stay, even when staying slowly turned into waiting, and waiting turned into silence. When he said he needed time, I believed him, because believing felt kinder than accepting the truth. What hurt the most was not the words, but the change itself, the way he slowly became someone I could no longer reach. I kept telling myself I would wait, that love was supposed to be patient, but while I was waiting, he was already choosing someone else. He chose his past, and I was left with memories that still knew how to call my name. I lost him, and with him I lost the small things, the messages, the feeling of being held by words. This breakup feels like a quiet kind of loss, the kind that doesn’t scream but stays. And as I let him go, I finally understand that the boy I loved, Seonghyeon, is now someone I have to say goodbye to, even if my heart is still whispering your name.

I met him in Berlin, while I’m sitting alone in the train platform and it almost midnight. We talk to each other and became close. Until we finally decided to get together for more than a year. But suddenly everything felt so different, then he asked me to meet him. He wants to be honest at last, he said. When we met, he didn’t even look into my eyes. I wonder, what happened to him. And then he finally said that his feelings had changed. I don’t know how to react. And it hurts me even more when he said “I hope you understand” and he sounded so sure. I really want to say “Why should I? Why we can’t keep this feelings forever? What did I do that make you lose your feelings to me?” but all I can say is “I’ll respect your choice”. After that, he hugged me, in a long silent hug. And then leave me alone in the first place we met. Thank you, Martin. I hope life treats you well.

Keonho and Shawako first met in New York, on a quiet bridge where the city lights always felt a little too bright. Their relationship walked on for years, steady but uncertain, as if both of them were waiting for something neither could name.

Then one night, Keonho asked Shawako to meet him there again.
For what? to end the uncertainty. that night, Keonho spoke while avoiding Shawako’s eyes. His voice was calm, almost distant. He said he didn’t want this life anymore, he meant a life without Shawako in it. He wanted to be free. And the worst part was when he said, “You deserve better.” It felt too late to hear those words. Why didn’t he say it earlier? Why didn’t he say it when she wasn’t already in too deep? Why didn’t he say it at the beginning, when he first asked her to be his? Her mouth felt sealed shut, as if chains were tightening around her throat.

Shawako could only nod slowly, trying to loosen her grip on his hand. “Thank you for telling me,” she said. After that, Shawako walked home alone. The warmth from his hand faded with the cold night air. She slipped her hands into her pockets, hoping the warmth would stay, hoping it wouldn’t leave just yet. But by the time she wiped her own tears away, the warmth was already gone.

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