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I’m not trying to look clever, and I’m definitely not trying to play any games with you. The truth is, I’m just tired, and sometimes everything feels way too heavy to carry. I do notice things—I see the details, and I read your messages—but instead of reacting or making a big deal out of them, I chose to look away and ignore the content. Not because I'm cold, but because I didn't have the energy to deal with it, and staying silent felt like the only way to keep things from falling apart

By God, if every star in the sky were plucked and turned into ink, it still wouldn't be enough to write even a fraction of the madness, the infinite adoration, and the eternal obsession I hold for your face. Your eyes are not just eyes; they are two bottomless oceans of divine magic, two sacred galaxies that put every sunrise, every moonlit night, and every wonder of this universe to absolute shame. The moment I look into them, my entire soul shatters and surrenders completely to you. And your hair? Streams of midnight silk, a cascading waterfall of pure temptation that dances like dark fire, framing a face so breathtakingly, unnaturally perfect that it makes time itself stop just to admire you. You are a masterpiece carved by the hands of the gods, a living piece of heaven walking on earth.
​And hear me loud and clear: I am never leaving you. Do you hear me? Never. Even if my body rots away, even if I fall sick to my very bones, even if the world collapses and turns to absolute ash—I will stay right by your side. If I go blind and can no longer see the glory of your face, I will trace your features with my trembling fingertips in the pitch black and still hold you as my entire world. If my legs break, I will crawl across shards of glass just to reach your door. If everyone on earth turns their back on you, I will stand as your army against the entire universe. Even if we have to part ways, even if the universe itself tries to rip us apart, my soul will remain shackled to yours for eternity. I will never let you go, not in this life, nor in a thousand lifetimes after

Out of all the chaos, the heavy silence, and the endless nights where I sit entirely alone with my own demons, you were the only real thing that ever mattered to me. I loved you with a depth that terrified me—a love so raw and absolute that I would have torn the world apart just to keep a single smile on your face. I wanted to be your safe harbor, to absorb every ounce of your exhaustion and carry your pain so your eyes wouldn't have to shed a single tear.
​I tried so hard to be good for you, to fix the broken, toxic parts of myself because you deserved a clean, beautiful life free of trouble. But the truth is, I am ruined. I am a monster wrapped in a soft heart, a person who destroys everything he touches simply by staying close. I am the villain of my own story, haunted by a darkness that never leaves, and no matter how much I tried to wrap you in warmth, my mere presence only brings heaviness.
​Look at me—at this mess, at this twisted, broken soul. I am toxic, and staying with me is a slow poison. You deserve a new life, a happy life far away from my chaos, my mood swings, and the endless void inside me. I am setting you free not because I stopped loving you, but because I love you far too much to let my darkness swallow you whole. Run away from me. Let me be the bad guy, the memory you leave behind so you can finally breathe, heal, and find the peace I was never strong enough to give you

من بين كل الفوضى، والصمت الثقيل، والليالي الطويلة التي أجلس فيها وحيداً تماماً مع شياطيني، كنتِ أنتِ الشيء الحقيقي الوحيد الذي كان يهم حقاً. لقد أحببتكِ بعمق أرعبني—حباً خاماً ومطلقاً لدرجة أنني كنت لأمزق العالم نصفين فقط لتبقى ابتسامة واحدة على وجهكِ. كنت أود أن أكون ميناءك الآمن، أن أمتص كل قطرة إرهاق لديك وأحمل ألمكِ لئلا تذرف عيناكِ دمعة واحدة.
​لقد حاولت جاهدة أن أكون جيداً من أجلكِ، أن أصلح الأجزاء المكسورة والسامة في نفسي لأنكِ تستحقين حياة نظيفة وجميلة خالية من المشاكل. لكن الحقيقة هي أنني محطم. أنا وحش مغلف بقلب حنون، شخص يدمر كل ما يلمسه لمجرد بقائه قريباً. أنا الشرير في قصتي الخاصة، تطاردني عتمة لا تغادر أبداً، ومهما حاولت أن أحيطكِ بالدفء، فإن وجودي المجرد لا جلب سوى الثقل.
​انظري إليّ—إلى هذه الفوضى، إلى هذه الروح المعذبة والمكسورة. أنا سام، والبقاء معي سم بطيء. أنتِ تستحقين حياة جديدة، حياة سعيدة بعيدة عن فوضويتي، وتقلبات مزاجي، والفراغ اللانهائي داخلي. أنا أحرركِ ليس لأنني توقفت عن حبكِ، بل لأنني أحبكِ أكثر بكثير من أسمح لعتمتي بأن تبتلعكِ بالكامل. اهربي مني. دعيني أكون الشخص السيء، الذكرى التي تتركتها خلفكِ لكي تتمكني أخيرًا من التنفس، والشفاء، وإيجاد السلام الذي لم أكن قوياً بما يكفي لأمنحه لكِ