New idea that started to circle on X, i like it a lot:
Almost every time you step into a party, a dinner, a meeting, or any gathering, people aren’t really thinking about you. They’re caught up in their own thoughts. Wondering if they sound intelligent. Checking if their clothes look right. Asking themselves whether they’re being liked. Most of the time, you’re barely a blip in their awareness.
Not because you’re unimportant, but because everyone is absorbed in their own inner world.
Have you ever left a room thinking about your previous actions while having this feeling that you were judged by other people?
The truth is, they weren’t. They probably didn’t even notice. If most people are too focused on themselves to see your imperfections, why live as if you’re constantly on display?
I would say it is only partially true, but mental model is right. ofc there is people that "judge" everyone around, but i doubt many people change relationships based on anything you are performing. I had a story in my life when i was dramatically betrayed (not once even) and most of my friends, event relatives, continued to talk to such people, even invite us both to common parties. I was screaming to them "you know what this guy did to me?" and i have only seen the dead eyes ignoring what i am saying. People always actively ignored my ask to not to talk to someone and exclude someone from their lifes, at best they continued communication behind my back.
Second order effects are interesting: social anxiety is stupid, no one ever thinks about you, especially if they are not super close friends. In my practice even significant others not thinking THAT much as you usually picture in your head (or my life just super sad idk). I have never seen anyone having any kind of justice when something social wise was done badly. "Nothing ever happens" is true for almost every social interaction in my life.
You can just be yourself and nothing will happen anyway. Even more: it would be nice to anything to happen. Attention is all you need, but modern man has virtually zero attention to you.